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What To Say to Get Your Way

The power of language is paramount in any form of communication. It’s what binds us together, allowing us to share our thoughts, ideas, and feelings. Whether chatting with friends, negotiating in business, or designing a marketing campaign, the importance of language can’t be overstated.

Extensive research in marketing and psycholinguistics (or the psychology of language) has shown us that the words we choose can dramatically influence how people pay attention, what they think, and the decisions they make. By applying these insights smartly, and tweaking your words just right, you can really grab your audience’s attention, make your messages stick, and even steer brand loyalty and buying decisions in a big way.



The way we talk about things can make a big difference in how we act. There are two types of language that can make a difference and change the outcome of our thoughts: action-oriented and identity-oriented.

Action-oriented language is all about empowering us. It uses phrases like “take action” or “exercise” and focuses on the specific things we can do to achieve our goals. This kind of language focuses on the specific behaviours and actions individuals take, and reminds us that we’re in control and can make things happen for ourselves. It’s pretty motivating, but there’s another level to this — identity-oriented language.

Identity-oriented language hones in on the traits and identities we aspire to, like being a “successful entrepreneur” or a “confident leader”. It connects with our deeper motivations and the person we aim to become. By focusing on these identities, we naturally lean towards products or services that we believe can help us embody these ideals to help us become that person.


When creating marketing messages, it’s crucial to tap into what your audience really wants, and their desired outcomes – showing them what they can be. If your message aligns with their goals, like becoming a “successful entrepreneur” or a “confident leader,” it adds a personal touch that makes your brand more appealing and relevant to them. This connection increases their likelihood of engaging with you, feeling connected to your brand, and taking action, which spells success for both your client and your business.

When crafting marketing messages, it helps to focus on your audience’s desired outcomes. When your messaging resonates with their aspirations, like “successful entrepreneur” or ” confident leader,” it fosters a sense of personal meaning, making your brand more relatable and relevant to their lives, and business. As a result, they are more likely to engage with you, feel a deeper connection to your brand, and take action; ultimately leading to greater success for both your client and your business.

Instead of saying:

Sign up for our productivity workshop now and learn effective time management techniques to boost your efficiency!” (action-orientated)


Join a community of high achievers and become a master of productivity! Attend our workshop and discover your full potential as a time management expert.” (identity-orientated)

This approach helps your audience see themselves in their aspirational identities, making them more likely to engage deeply with your brand.


Using “you” and “your” in your marketing messages can really make your audience sit up and listen. This second person language speaks directly to them, making your message feel personal and engaging – like you’re speaking with them, not AT them. This creates more of a conversational style, making them feel recognised and valued, boosting their sense of empowerment.

On the flip side, using third person language with terms like “he,” “she,” “they,” or your brand name, lends a touch of authority and credibility to your communication. It positions your brand as an established entity, which is incredibly effective when you’re showcasing testimonials, reviews, or success stories.

Combining these styles allows you to draw your audience closer while simultaneously reinforcing your brand’s credibility and expertise. 

How do we put this into practice?

  • Use second person language, like “you” and “your”, to create a more personal and intimate vibe in your marketing. This approach works brilliantly across email marketing, social media posts, blogs, and website content, making your clients feel as though the brand is talking right to them.
  • This style really comes into its own when you’re creating compelling calls-to-action (CTAs). Phrases such as “Join us now” or “Where will you be in 12 months? Act today” pull your audience directly into the action, motivating them to do things like subscribe to a newsletter, make a purchase, or sign up for a webinar.
  • When it comes to third person language, narrative storytelling is a powerful technique. By creating relatable characters that mirror your target audience, you can draw people into a story that shows how your product or service can positively impact their lives and businesses. This strategy not only makes your marketing more memorable but also more emotionally engaging.


Let’s be honest! No single word or phrase can ensure every sale. However, the power of persuasive language should not be underestimated. Words have power. Subtle change in the language you use can make a big impact. And when you understand how the human mind processes language, you’re significantly improving your odds for more impact, more growth, and long-term success.

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